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Ancient blessing

by Vendég Fogdmeg

Read this blessing outloud to bring goodluck to you in times of strife. (Works especially well nearby Space-Germans) Wezteg kwrwanewfya zaros nemeth, iwttatok werenkewht, ma yzzywk thy wertheketh Read in times of strifeRead in times of strife

Posted in Religion

The Epic Tiberius M.

by TM

The Epic Saga of Tiberius Montgomery Volume #1 Tiberius Montgomery is a legend among men. The most robust man alive. His story is told among the stations. Eris, Yog, Goon, and TG. He has achieved many robust feats. From stealing HoS’s card and throwing him in jail, killing a robot in 1v1 combat with a hand teleporter, becoming cultist king, murdering all of Ironhammer on Eris. He is amazing and has many stories. This is just the beginning.

Posted in Non-Fiction

Innocent's Trip

by Innocent Muggins

One day, Innocent Muggins and her crew of SUPER FASHIONABLE pals went to some dumb cold place on some dumb cold moon to look for FASHION DISASTERS. But when they got there, they found nothing but BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE with AWESOME FASHION SENSE!! And Innocent got to see all SORT of new, cool fashions from new, cool people! It was such a good time, she didn’t even want to leave! She stayed there forever, be SUPER FASHIONABLE with ALL her pals, old and new! The

Posted in Fiction

Employee's Elegy

by An Employee

Sometimes at night, I dream of a thousand deaths. A monster among men, cutting us down one by one.A circle of blood, and a terror ripping apart reality itself.An explosion.A black hole.A wish for a beter life turned into a bloodbath.A rescue party revealing their true colors.Men changed by greed and men with nothing to lose.Men believing in something greater and men who gave up.A computer turned againts its creators

Posted in Non-Fiction

Morpheus

by Hannibal Buress

Morpheus, Dorpheus, OrpheusGo eat some walrusesOrifices, PorridgesMorpheus, Morpheus Going to the Buffet and WalrusesConfidence, CorpsesesWorcestershire sauceGo into your orifices Red pill, blue pillMorpheus, WalrusesSeashells by the Seashorpheus Morpheus drinking a forty in a death basket!

Posted in Fiction

CotD: Dreamwatcher

by Vaza-Adhwanem

Udara-Rakshak, the Dreamwatcher, is the Creator of our material realm, and at the same time physically composes our realm to some extent. It is a complicated relationship, and will be described later in this test. The words Udara-Rakshak are untranslatable into Common, or even our parent species Draconic. The most accurate description would be ‘the guardian of the dreams’, although that is reductive at best. They are the God of the Astral, of drea

Posted in Religion

Blue LIfe

by Jerry Blue Stinger

in a world where reds rule and blues drool its tough being a blue i have been forced to hide in the commisary and arm myself with a hatchetthe reds now want to corral us and make us lose sadly they ahve already lost 40 points and have lost not many of us blues are left by the time you read this i will be dead6 minuts till the shuttle comes the reds are panicking hoping that they wont lose5 minutes they are telling centcom about a bomb they di

Posted in Non-Fiction

Print Job #809

by Who fucking knows..?

The Discovery of Bluespace and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” systems, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Syndicate to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the untampered galaxy. The contin

Posted in Non-Fiction

CotD: Introduction

by Vaza-Adhwanem

The being known as Udara-Rakshaka was discovered by my people thousands of years ago. We encountered them in our explorations of the Astral Plane, the dreamspace, and originally believed them to be a guardian of dreams, giving them the title Dreamwatcher. Our explorations continued with the use of Dreamblood, and we eventually discovered the true nature of Udara-Rakshaka. We called ourselves the Children of the Dreamwatcher. Dreamblood is c

Posted in Religion

A short poem

by A concerned author

To see the size of the world around, I’ve come to make this poem. To see I weren’t going mad, I turned myself into an ant. The world around so big, Little did I feel. So little time, so little time…

Posted in Fiction

The Iliad Bk I

by Homer

Book I Achilles wrath, to Greece the direful springOf woes unnumberd, heavenly goddess, sing!That wrath which hurld to Plutos gloomy reignThe souls of mighty chiefs untimely slain;Whose limbs unburied on the naked shore,Devouring dogs and hungry vultures tore.Since great Achilles and Atrides strove,Such was the sovereign doom, and such the will of Jove! Declare, O Muse! in what ill-fated hour

Posted in Fiction

Thought of Vandalism

by Otto Earthom

A thought on Vandalism(And getting away with it) -Introduction There are 2 main types of Vandalism. Hard Vandalism, and Soft Vandalism. While vandalism can be classified as destruction, or damage of station property, a more indepth understanding of vandalism will reveal that such a definition is far too narrow when conducting the enjoyable act. For that reason we must seperate vandalism into two types. -H

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Cargo- a short idyl

by Cargo

In cargo I sat jotting down on a noteAvoiding some ligger and Esther, the thotSitting patiently until the shuttle arrivedWith such a tool as a Mosin thered be no end to our tide!As the shuttle arrived, such a prick at my heartThe tools the QM ordered were not fit for harm!After further inquiring he blurted Non-lethalsTo my dissatisfaction the boss proved otherwise dismal Despite the incorrigible nature of Cargonia the g

Posted in Non-Fiction

Little Poem I Wrote

by Ryan Cobb

As the dying celestial light retreatsFrom the crust of a thousand horizons unknown,Just know they’ll never see your plight,Or recognize your throne. For all their romanticized knowledge-In reality, lack thereof.You are one of many foolsWho search for truth above. They will never honor your toil,Or hear your final breath.They will never mourn your spirit,Nor spare time for your death. They are legio

Posted in Fiction

Lizard Society

by Rides-The-Lightning

Aspects of Lizard society By Rides-The-Lightning The religions of the lizard people, also known as the Unathi, are diverse and greatly varied group of believes, although modes of pratice differ between groups, much of the worpship of these various theological sects are directed at great structures, known as the Spires, titanic and monolithic, these Spires are made of a strange and strong alloy, dubbed by Nanotrasen Lizard Relation of

Posted in Non-Fiction

Manifesto of Mime

by Penn Naime

Thistlewits’ ManifestoA collection of papers collected from Thistlewits the Mime’s private quarters It is not the Lizard who invades our homes and steals from our pocket. It is not the moth who crushes our dreams underfoot. It is not the plasmaman that spits vitriol and whispers deceit into the ears of our children. It is not the ethereal that burns our homes and breaks our backs. It is the felinid. It is that which w

Posted in Reference

Thoughts on Gondola

by Ryan Cobb

A Collection of 26th Century Thought on Gondola Of all the absurdity to be found in space, that of the Gondola reigns supreme. No one truly knows how the first Gondola came into being. Perhaps it was the product of some bizarre and alien evolutionary tree. Perhaps it resulted due to genetic and chemical experiments from an unknown faction from the distant past. The question is unanswerable because no one really knows what

Posted in Reference

The Curator Life

by Robert Green

There was a lonely curator sitting in his library waiting for someone to come and make him feel happy by reading a book or writing one. Alas no one came, he became really sad and went to the bar for a refreshing drink to cheer him up. The drink didnt taste good.He is now sitting in his comfy chair writing something

Posted in Fiction

The Lizards Vol.3

by Arianna Woodward

I decided to attempt communications with subjects 2 and 3. Subject 2 did not seem to interested. The plants seemed to be their sole attention and drive. However Subject 3 had charged out of their habitat to assess me and see if I was friend or foe. I had taken my recorder out and began to speak very slowly and loudly so their small brains might be able to understand the basic language of the galaxy. To my suprise, they were able to make out a gruntish re

Posted in Reference

The Lizards Vol.2

by Arianna Woodward

I came across two more lizards in my travels around the station, this time they were working together to make a sort of ‘plant-like’ substance. I dared not get too close for my last encounter with the lizards was quite hostile. So I stood between some convienently placed saftey glass and observed them in their environment. Subject 2: also known as “Rasha-Tanaka” was curious but altogether not interested in me. Their gutteral tongue is hard to understand

Posted in Reference

The Lizards Vol.1

by Arianna Woodward

I have begun to study the lizards aboard this station. Starting with subject 1, or as they are known by ‘Hates-The-Lizard’. Subject one was skittish and apprehensive around my initial prods and pokes into its skeletal and scalie structure. I had to chase it a good bit around the station before I could finnaly get a good picture of it. I then tried to get a small skin sample from it, which it then tripped me and ran away. It also made some form of confuse

Posted in Reference

Print Job #306

by Siegekind

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that works, yeah. That night when the fitzgerlad cumblaster hahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA it hurts what the fuck are you doing someone lost their mind or something enneworde joe make sure the author of the book is labeled SWAMP ASS i hate medical i love medical i’ve never done it skim over on how to do some of the surgeries, great fun ROBODONG INCOHERENT SLAVIC LANGUAGE hehehe dave say some gay shit

Posted in Religion

corey shwa ce

by Corerey shaw

one daya coprey shaw was the ceif enginejer but litle did they no that he had kniw idea jdgaegt he was doin s ohe gt yetd inot surepe mater

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The Ballad of Cera

by Kersti Terras

Taunted by a funny manPastries flying, dignities dyingCera set out to help her clan Beruse found a derelict cornerDark, damp, and out of orderWith her trusty tools and willThe space was turned into quite the distill.

Posted in Non-Fiction

How To Play Piano

by Helen Keller

DDO DOOO DOO DODOD OODODODOOO DOOD DOOKEY KEY KEY KEYTHIS KEYTHAT KEY

Posted in Fiction

Euclids Elements p4

by Euclid

Euclid's Elements Book I Proposition 4 If two triangles have two sides equal to two sides respectively, and have the angles contained by the equal straight lines equal, then they also have the base equal to the base, the triangle equals the triangle, and the remaining angles equal the remaining angles respectively, namely those opposite the equal sides. Let ABC and DEF be two tria

Posted in Non-Fiction

Euclids Elements p3

by Euclid

Euclid's Elements Book I Proposition 1 To construct an equilateral triangle on a given finite straight line.Let AB be the given finite straight line. It is required to construct an equilateral triangle on the straight line AB. Describe the circle BCD with center A and radius AB. Again describe the circle ACE with center B and radius BA. Join the straight lines CA and CB from the p

Posted in Non-Fiction

Euclids Elements p2

by Euclid

Euclid's Elements Book I __________________________________________________ Postulates Let the following be postulated: Postulate 1To draw a straight line from any point to any point. Postulate 2To produce a finite straight line continuously in a straight line. Postulate 3To describe a circle with any center and radius.

Posted in Non-Fiction

Euclids Elements p1

by Euclid

Euclid's Elements Book I Definitions Definition 1A point is that which has no part. Definition 2A line is breadthless length. Definition 3The ends of a line are points. Definition 4A straight line is a line which lies evenly with the points on itself. Definition 5A surface is that which has

Posted in Non-Fiction

Mice and Lice

by THE KNOWING ONE

Mice are sometimes like lice.

Posted in Non-Fiction

How to get AA

by Giovannie Harshman

How to get AA ask your local hop(if the hop wont give you AA or is not there then try this other method)The greytider method. Get tools from your local tool storage(make sure you got a crowbar,screwdriver,wirecutters,insulated gloves,and possibally a multitool if you want to not ruin the door) hack the door of command with your insulated gloves onand steal the fire axe. break into caps office with h

Posted in Non-Fiction

The New Body

by Ulyssa Blaire

One shift, when Rhials Duffy was hard at work in science, researching away for the good of the station, he felt a tiny prick on the back of his neck. Like the tiny prick of a sleepy pen. Sure enough, he felt his eyelids get heavy and he started to slur and stumble before passing out. When he woke up, his head was pounding like a sonic jackhammer on his temples. He was laying on the floor, surprised that whatever had gotten him didn’t do anything to him.

Posted in Fiction

Poetry on the Brain

by Anonymous

While many informants fail to informMany more ignore the normOf when the mind forgets a taleand fills it’s space with fake mailThe mailman never came, and isn’t due for another few daysBut why then, does the mind operate this way? Forget the truth, and in it’s place,filled with falsehoods, memories erased.When did it happen, when did it not.All we can sayIs that we forgot.

Posted in Fiction

Richard Sharpes note

by Richard Sharpe, published Post Mortem by Nett

When I am dead, and over me bright AprilShakes out her rain drenched hair,Tho you should lean above me broken hearted,I shall not care.For I shall have peace.As leafey trees are peacefulWhen rain bends down the bough.And I shall be more silent and cold heartedThan you are now I am saddened you do not care for me nor the finest og gestures nor the tenderest of amphibious umami texture. I will all my belongings. my de

Posted in Non-Fiction

Floor mines

by Mandela Czar

Sparkezels guide to over-engineered smugglers satchel bombs Smugglers SatchelSmugglers Satchel is a very interesting item, it is able to be stuffed under the floor in order to hide contraband or to make bombs… If you are reading this guide it means that you are interested into the second, much less known way of using smuggler satchels, a way I coined as [floor mines]. The idea is very simple, a

Posted in Reference

How 2 Bomb

by Bomb knowledger

1nd step: get cold and hot gas2nd step: make them go boom

Posted in Fiction

Remains

by Rowan Royce

Remains it meltsit melts as an forbidden lost ice cream on an clean new and welcomed pave of a tile under the strict eye and heart of the sungod heliosthus the ice cream melted on the cherished pavebut how did such fragile thing get there? Under no human interaction such thing never appears.that is correct and the ice cream was dropped by an particular being loved by light and dark which only nothing coul

Posted in Religion

Lynching The Curator

by Brandon Ivanov

I am Brandon Ivanov. Many of you may know me as the dumbfuck curator who read Woody’s Got Wood over comms and got lynched. This is my story. I began my shift by ordering my carp hunter outfit. It was a nice carpy color, and suited my retardation nicely. I walked around looking like a dumbfuck for all to see. After that, I sat down at my inventory console and scrolled through the external archives looking for something nice to read. It was there t

Posted in Non-Fiction

The Dunwich Horror

by H.P. Lovecraft

The Dunwich Horror- H.P. Lovecraft “Gorgons, and Hydras, and Chimaeras—dire stories of Celaeno and the Harpies—may reproduce themselves in the brain of superstition—but they were there before. They are transcripts, types—the archetypes are in us, and eternal. How else should the recital of that which we know in a waking sense to be false come to affect us at all? Is it that we naturally conceive terror from such objects, considered

Posted in Fiction

Blue tunes

by Zirael

Blue tunes of black skies As usual, the streets themselves melded into a unrecognizable mess of twists and turns, i kept walking even though my feet hurt.I look up at the sky as if to pray for divine strength… but as usual, there is no reply. The sky remains in it’s ever unchanging midnight color, not as black as my future, but not as blue as the ocean, ever uncaring, descending upon us all equally as if having no

Posted in Fiction

Basically, im monky

by ---Vance Hyland :)

OK, so basically, im monky a short story by Vance Hyland Once upon a time, a young geneticist had an idea. He was going to become monky. He stepped inside the DNA console, asked his coworker to activate the Monkified mutation, and transformed. He was basically monky. Ok, said monkey (69), im basically monky.

Posted in Non-Fiction

EASY PEASY BOMBS

by Reed Rogers

1st beaker [50u]15u foaming agent (replace with that other one on /tg/)10u plasma10u chlorine trifluoride10u flourosulfic acid5u space lube 2nd beaker [50u]15u water10u phlogiston (stabalize)10u napalm10u unstable mutagen5u space lube scale up for bigger fire The Ban-In-A-Can (tm)Container: Large Grenade Casing Quantum Beaker 1:266u Glycerol133u Nitric Acid Quantum Bea

Posted in Reference

Japanifornia Anthem

by Arianna Woodward

Rawr x3 nuzzles! pounces on you uwu you so warm (Ooo)Couldn’t help but notice your bulge from across the floorNuzzles yo’ necky wecky-tilde murr-tilde heheUnzips yo baggy ass pants, oof baby you so muskyTake me home, pet me, ’n’ make me yours and don’t forget to stuff me!See me wag my widdle baby tail all for your buldgy-wuldgy!Kissies ‘n’ lickies yo neckI hope daddy likiesNuzzles ‘n’ wuzzles yo chest (yuh)I be

Posted in Reference

BDSMoth

by Steve Stevopiolis

This book contains highly erotic depictions of BDSM acts for Moffs, including Wing Bondage, Fabric Play, and Lamp Denial.

Posted in Adult

Print Job #943

by Dr. Valentin Pillman

What a shift! I got irradiated as fuck when I did not reach a maintenance shaft quickly enough. My hair fell out, I ran to medical once the hallways were clear again and went under a shower there and stripped me of my remaining clothes (some had already dissolved somehow). An incompetent seeming paramedic noticed and said I needed mutadone ran away but when he came back he just reapeated what he said instead of bringing it. He then suggested to ge

Posted in Fiction

SCP WTF-J

by SCP Foundation

Item #: SCP-WTF-JObject Class: Keter-Ashmedai Special Containment Procedures: SCP-WTF-J is to be kept in a standard containment cell at Armed Provisional Containment Area WTF-J-Omega-666 and subjected to Procedure 99-Jericho every 30 minutes. Failure to properly execute Procedure 99-Jericho will invariably result in a ZK-class Reality Failure event. Procedure 99-Jericho: This procedure consists of 15 sub-procedures, conducted simultaneo

Posted in Reference

THE HEROICS, I

by GAZETTE II

THE ACCOUNT OF THE HEROICS OF GAZETTE THE FIRST I TOOK A SWORD AT YE BLOB!I STRUCK IT WELL!THE BLOB KILLED ME

Posted in Fiction

Print Job #819

by Willie Sorker

I, Willie Sorker now knows what Perma is like. And let me tell you, it is not fun. You see I had the securty crew help me find out why so many people comit die in perma. Well I am here to tell you why. You see when your first arrested you striped and flashed around 15 to 30 times. Then your dressed with a prison dress and weird cuff shoes you cant take off. The shoes make it almost impossible to get anywere fast. Then your lightly beaten and cufffed to

Posted in Non-Fiction

Studies on Sec vol.1

by Marshall Summers

Studies on security I just couldn`t imagine those horrible boys in red suit that has been doing and comitting Space law war crimes things to prisoner such as kicking them, punching them and beat them to death with a baton. Horrible things that i ever witnessed with my own eyes. To be continue

Posted in Non-Fiction

Lawyer`s Experience

by Anonymous

My Experience First time arrive in this station. Here i am a Lawyer. i must admit there are so many things i learned from this station. Here are some; Rage CageSome degenerate folks seein this kind of activity as a entertainment. Rage Cage is basically like that movie Fight Club only this time people can talk about it. Cook is a cannibalThere are some station that i ever visited. They don’t allow cook

Posted in Non-Fiction

A guide to theft

by Marcus barker

The lazy man's guide to theft in 4 steps:1) Find a personal AI. Any will do.2) Install a personality, and if you deem it needed give it laws that will make sure it will act as an accomplice to your schemes.3)Have it install the door jacking and security records programs, so that it can help you break and enter and let you know if you get set for arrest.4)Take what you want and be ready to hide if you must.Congratulations, that's it.

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Notes on Bubblegum

by Lacidia Liebherri

The fauna on Lavaland is fascinating, yet horrifying. Lavaland is where the most interesting specimen. Bubblegum lives. Bubblegum is the king of the slaughter demons. Several times the size of humans. Bubblegum, as with most slaughter demons. Is capable of transporting itself through blood, it is unknown if they have some dimension to travel through blood. Bubblegum, when killed. drops a suit that is especially made for mining on Lavaland. It makes

Posted in Reference

How to write

by Marisol howard

How to write for dummies,Step one: ThoughtUse your brain to decide what you want to write about. This may be hard for you. If so, Take space drugs to clear your head.Step two: WriteSet aside some time and sit down and write for (time period) Until it comes out readableStep three: Make it officalUse the book binder to make your book a reality.Have fun writing. How to

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Woody's Got Food

by Nikolai Rhotin

One day while Andy was cooking, Woody got food. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii burger. He approached Andy which startled him and make him sneeze everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his sneeze made him hungrier than ever! Woody: “Andy Senpai! I’m alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOUR FOOD.” Andy: “Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii burger!” Wood

Posted in Fiction

NanotrasenDethmekE2

by -Uranium DIV

Rules of Nanotrasen Deathmech Movement Movement is done differently per mech caste, but it’s on a tile basis. Moving diagonally does not slow you down and counts as 1 tile. An infinite amount of mechs can be on 1 tile, meaning you don’t need a unique tile per mech in your whole army. Mechs cannot walk over walls unless it’s a phazon.

Posted in Reference

Lusty Argonian 2

by Paco Macho

Posted in Adult

Book: 12 Reasons to Sleep With a Female Lizar

by Raises-The-Fortune

We all know the two biggest reasons to sleep with MALE lizards. But why sleep with a female lizard? There are so many reasons! 1. Lizardsss are usssed to ssservicing two appendagesss at a time. Imagine what ssshe could do while focusssing on one! 2. The lizard cloaca isss ribbed for your pleasssure. 3. Lizardsss have evolved mammariesss of the perfect sssize and ssshape! 4. Lizardsss come in a variety of colorsss to coordinate any matching couple outfit.

Posted in Fiction

Book: SCP-173

by SCP Foundation

Item #: SCP-173 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-173 is to be kept in a locked container at all times. When personnel must enter SCP-173’s container, no fewer than 3 may enter at any time and the door is to be relocked behind them. At all times, two persons must maintain direct eye contact with SCP-173 until all personnel have vacated and relocked the container.

Posted in Fiction

Advocatus Diaboli

by Anonymous Advocate

An Introduction to the Philosophy and Practices of the Counter-Church Welcome, dearest reader. If you wish to become an active member of the Counter-Church(or the Impostor Church, as some prefer) or simply have encountered one of our number and were suitably scandalised by their admonishments, then this is the tome for you.Read on, eat of the apple of knowled

Posted in Religion

Asim Five

by Asim Al-Khalili

ASIM’S MEMOIRS PT.5 I AM WRITING THIS URGENTLY. I AM CURRENTLY HELD CAPTIVE BY A TRIBE ON THE NEARBY ORBITING SATELLITE–LAVALAND. I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND EVIDENCE OF AN ANCIENT ARTIFACT, ONE OF AN INSANE EVIL POWER. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAS CREATED IT, BUT I KNOW IT IS WORSHIPPED BY A HORRIBLE SOCIETY. IF YOU FIND THIS, PLEASE RESCUE ME. I WILL WRITE AGAIN SOON. Fifth in the Asim memoir series

Posted in Reference

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